Boundaries Part IV By Clay Hightower, LSMW
“When did this happen?” “Have they always felt this way?” “Do they know what I believe in and feel?”
6th Annual New Years Cleanse – Zoom Style
An opportunity to let go of 2020 and community rituals to bring in 2021 An opportunity to let go of the resentments towards self and others and bring in forgiveness. This will be a time of contemplation, meditation, and ritual. We will include self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and a ritual weaving of all that we are. It [...]
Boundaries and the Holidays Part 3 by Clay Hightower
Clay Hightower, LMSW The Holidays and Boundaries Part III: Taking a Risk By Clay Hightower, LMSW Throughout this entire series on boundaries, I have reaffirmed and will continue to reaffirm that it is my right to set boundaries that ensure my safety, and that others do not get to dictate if they [...]
Boundaries and the Holidays Part 2 by Clay Hightower, LMSW
Clay Hightower, LMSW The Holidays and Boundaries Part II: Little or No Contact By Clay Hightower, LMSW Halloween may be behind us now, but some of us are still thinking about ghosting this holiday season. “Ghosting” is slang for cutting somebody out of your life without any sort of contact or [...]
Boundaries and the Holidays Part 1 by Clay Hightower Part 1
Clay Hightower, LMSW 2020 has been timeless. No, I don’t mean timeless like Mariah Carey’s timeless classic “All I Want for Christmas is You.” I mean timeless as in largely void of any normal social or cultural events that signal a changing of the seasons or help orient me to time. Even the [...]
The 4th Horseman of Relapse – Stonewalling By Clay Hightower, LMSW
The 4th Horseman of Relapse – StonewallingBy Clay Hightower, LMSW“If I do not think about it, maybe it will get better.”If you have had a thought like this about a problem before, no matter how big or small, you have engaged in a form of stonewalling. That does not mean that you committed a grave [...]
3rd Horseman of Relapse – Contempt
This is my third installment in the Four Horsemen and Relapse series! If you have missed them, go check out my introduction to the series and the first two pieces already posted on the page! How many times have you used the phrase “I would never do that to you” in an argument with your [...]
2nd Horseman of Relapse – Defensiveness – by Clay Hightower, LMSW
ou missed my previous posts on the Four Horsemen and Relapse, check out my two previous posts on Addiction Recovery Intensive and Moore Institute Facebook page. During conflicts, I will often ask my couples counseling clients the question “Would you like to feel correct, or would you like to feel happy?” They frequently respond with [...]
1st Horseman – Criticism by Clay Hightower, LMSW
(Note: I will attempt to use real personal examples of each communication behavior when discussing inner talk as well as interpersonal communication. I want this to be as practical as possible when discussing intervention, but I also want to destigmatize these behavior patterns and encourage proactive change rather than responding to crises out of fear [...]
The Four Horsemen and Relapse
written by Clay Hightower, LMSW From the moment that one makes the commitment to stop ingesting a mood-altering substance or engaging in a process addiction, they are at risk of relapse. Without proper planning, one is potentially one stressful event, unforeseen challenge, or fixed false belief away from the voice convincing them that they cannot [...]